The Language of Love

Activities to bring laughter, build relationships – and help your heart

By Jess Winn, NIU STEAM Educator

(Families and Pre-K-12 educators)

In this episode of Winning Ideas, secrets to healthy, happy relationships and hearts. Check out this blog for a little of the science behind heart health – including the importance of laughter and fun. Then keep reading for tips you can use with your family or students to create laughter and build positive relationships.

A note on the age-range of these activities: Although having a dance party or a Nerf war might come more naturally with younger children, don’t hesitate to try these relationship builders with middle and high school students, as well! Scary as it sounds, middle and high school students are at the stage of development where they are exploring the idea of emotions. They are opening their hearts and experiencing new things and we think that’s a good thing! It’s important to keep modeling and promoting healthy relationships for older youth, too.

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Ah love – the heart beats faster, the blood rushes to our cheeks, and we lose all ability to communicate. All our friends convince us that we should ask that special person out, that they TOTALLY like us too. Our palms get sweaty, knees weak, arms…wait a second – that wasn’t love, that was nerves and stress! Those two responses are fine in small doses, like walking by your crush, but over long periods of time can become detrimental to our heart health. So, what is love? How does our heart respond? What is another way (besides the traditional diet and exercise) to keep our hearts healthy? And what can we do today to start improving not only our heart health, but our connections with our kids and students? Let’s jump in!

Science has long looked at heart health through the lens of better diet and exercise, in fact that is the “ultimate cure” according to many doctors when you go in for your annual checkups. But there is an old adage that says, “laughter is the best medicine.” Where did that even come from, and is it real? Well, it has roots as far back as biblical times. More recently (the 1300s) Henri de Mondeville, a French surgeon, taught the importance of laughter in the healing processes after surgery. It has been looked at by many medical professionals through the years and the science is clear. Laughter helps improve your mental health, your overall stress, and ultimately – it helps your heart.

Science tells us that laughter releases endorphins, those happy carefree feelings. Those endorphins have a special job in your body – lower cortisol and epinephrine (the stress hormones), relax your blood vessels (allowing blood to flow easier and your heart to work less), and help improve your immune system. (Read more in this 2023 article.) So what – we should just laugh and all of our problems will disappear? NO! Nothing is a quick fix, but being surrounded by people who truly make you laugh and smile can improve your health over the course of your life. So, let’s take some time to be that person for our students and our own children – the person who helps them laugh and smile even in tough times.

If you have ever watched social media videos from circa 2020 you may have seen a series in which a father, upon the mention of “dadosaur,” morphs into a human dinosaur who rampages his house. (Check out the dadosaur Instagram feed here.) While his wife doesn’t sound the most enthusiastic, his daughters scream in laughter at each silly antic. That laughter is setting his daughters up for healthier hearts, building bonds, and teaching the girls about the importance of developing a unit of people who will support you and laugh with you.

Demonstrating for the young people in your life – whether they’re your children or your students – a healthy happy relationship with your job and the people around you helps them to develop the self -esteem to build healthy relationships with others in their future. Set your kids up for success. The laughter and connection that we build with the people we care about keeps our mental health balanced, and it also helps keep our heart healthy. It also shows love.

Remember, we asked what love is – it turns out it is a release of hormones by the brain. Different types of hormones will illicit different types of love. While students are experiencing more of a lust when they see their crush in the halls, attachment and affection that are considered to be the emotions of love. Regardless of which you are experiencing, each of these emotions are sparked when the brain is given positive feedback. Help students understand what positive feedback looks like and what to expect from the people who create those sparks of love and joy in their lives. Happy, healthy relationships build happy, healthy adults who are ready to take on any challenge life brings them.

Heart Healthy “Buds” that spark laughter, heal your heart, and bring lifelong benefits.

Try a few of these activities with your children or students or any age:

1. After school, when you see your kiddo again, take them out for a science experiment where you go to five different fast food places and only get French fries. Then spend the next hour or so debating the pros and cons of each restaurant, as well as ranking them from best fries to worst. (This activity can be done with literally any food from shakes to burgers and more.)
2. Begin a round of “would you rather” with something like this: “Would you rather eat a slug with every meal as an “appetizer” or sip slime juice as your drink with each meal?”
3. Bring up a positive past memory. “Do you remember the time…” (insert a funny connection or story).
4. Hey! Catch! (then toss them something that is hard to catch like whipped cream, glitter, etc. and start a “catch” fight).
5. Play a game that incites silly behaviors (like Pictionary, charades, etc.).
6. Dance! Turn on some music and just let loose in your basement with a silly dance party – crazy outfits and all.
7. Have a Nerf war where everyone is laughing and chasing each other around the house.
8. Make a crazy dinner! Spin a wheel of ingredients and challenge your children or students to make a meal with you out of whatever they have spun.
9. In your classroom – take a break from the monotony of lectures, worksheets, and tests! Instead, pull a fun lesson on the meaning of (insert some silly connection to your material here) in your classroom.

This list could go on and on. But the main thing is: put down your phone, your social media, your pressure to complete lessons, and all of your other external focuses and really take time to connect with people you love and care about. Remember, even your middle and high schoolers they are still technically kids and want to experience joy and laughter with you. If you are having fun and enjoying what you are doing, it inevitably rubs off on the people around you.

Now that you’ve read this blog you might be wondering – how does this relate to STEAM? Well, we discussed the science behind a healthy heart, we developed an SEL connection, and we talked about ways to incorporate communication into your life. That, my friends, is the NIU STEAM philosophy. We aren’t just rooted in heavy science activities – we want to help build well rounded individuals who are self-aware and capable of working together towards a better future. Young people who don’t lose their curiosity spark and are willing to put themselves out there. NIU STEAM is about the whole person, not just what their brains could potentially do! So go out there, love a little, help your heart, and build a better tomorrow.

Don’t forget to share your projects with us! Tag #NIUSTEAM and @NIUSTEAM for a chance to be featured in our weekly newsletter. And as always, do good things, be good people, and make yourself better than the day before.

Contributor, B. (2023, August 24). How laughter can help your heart. BIDMC of Boston. https://www.bidmc.org/about-bidmc/wellness-insights/heart-health/2020/09/how-laughter-can-help-your-heart

Cumston, C. G. (1903, March). Henry de Mondeville, the man and his writings: With translation of several chapters of his works. Buffalo medical journal. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8731608/

Mannella, F. (2020). Dadosaur videos and images. The Real Dadosaur. Instagram. Retrieved 2024, from https://www.instagram.com/therealdadosaur/?hl=en.

Powell, A. (2018, February 13). When love and science double date. Harvard Gazette. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/02/scientists-find-a-few-surprises-in-their-study-of-love/